All Of This
by XxfallingdeeperXx
Summary: Another night with her, but I'm always wanting you...Use me only come on and use me...
1. Chapter 1:All Of This

All Of This

Disclaimer: Huh? You want some of this? A fourteen year old can take you? Or how about a MILLION crazed SVU fans? Muahahaha! Then we can-AHH! It's Elliot's face! Hisss! The beauty! Move towards the light! Ugh...fine you own it.

**I found out when the next season's coming back on! XD Yeah! It's on September 22nd my beautiful people. The first episode is Lucoma. And as you all know, I just had to write this on how this is planned out. Though it's sad, so its okay to frown. :( And I called it this because it inspired me from the song from Blink 182. Hey, we never said this E/O thing was going to be easy!**

Her eyes snapped open and her stomach lurched.

Olivia looked around and shook her head. No, no, no. This had to be a dream. Yeah, that was it. A dream.

It was then she felt a sharp throbbing between her legs and she winced. Olivia swallowed visibly and saw her naked body covered in upset and tossed sheets. They were ruffled, wrinkled. They went at it like bunnies.

Her heart crumbled when she saw the space next to her was empty. Not that she didn't expect it to be vacant.

She took a shaky breath and her bottom lip quivered as she shut her eyes so the tears that were unshed wouldn't fall. Olivia walked around the bed, picking up her clothes and shuddering at the monsterous way they were removed. It was her favorite shirt. He tore the buttons off with his teeth. Horny bastard.

She walked into the living room and she wanted to collapse when she remembered the cream colored couch was where it started. A half empty bottle of Jack Daniels sat on the coffee table...it wasn't a dream.

It was the absolute fucking truth.

"Oh, God." She picked up the two ripped halves of her bra...he used her. He used every single part of her body. And she willingly gave it away. Because she wanted it to happen and much as he needed it.

She always wanted him.

She finally walked around "his" side of the bed, just incase he dropped anything while they were getting busy. Olivia saw nothing as she picked up the sheets, wanting to get the memory off, but wanting to keep it at the same time. She heard a flap and she turned and saw a tan piece of line paper. It was then she finally cried, dropped the note, and ran to the bathroom.

The piece of paper sank slowly to the floor as the inky letters flashed:

_I used you. I wanted all of this, but I can't. Forgive me. _

_El_

**:( I had that sick feeling in my stomach Liv had just now. Well, don't get mad at me! What did you expect him to do? Randomly divorce Kathy and make love to Liv just like that? Sigh...I wish it were that simple kid. But it's not. If you want me to continue, please review! And please don't hurt me verbally! **

**Hugs and Thunder,**

**Mickey**


	2. Chapter 2:Down

Disclaimer: Dick! You're giving me a headache! Just take them. Ruin the playdate! We were just having fun. You're such a joykill...

**Okay, from the alerts and favs I got, I decided to actually CONTINUE this. Just because I felt terrible for leaving poor little Liv there...without giving her some shit first. Hehe. Oh God, I'm such a horrible person. Why do I find joy in hurting these people? Because it's fun. And all of these chapters are based on Blink 182 songs. So, read the chapter name and listen to that song. :)**

"No, NO, NO, NO!" she screamed as she threw the box. "Damn it all to hell! 2 minutes and instant accurate results my ASS!" She stared at the little white stick and cursed it.

Stupid plus sign.

She...she couldn't be pregnant...she wasn't pregnant. Olivia Benson was NOT pregnant. No, not ever. And she most certainly did not have Elliot's child growing inside of her. The test was faulty.

But she had done four tests. Each one. Plus, plus, plus, plus. She hit her head against the wall and let out an exasperated and shaky sigh. She was not going to cry. Not now.

Had they used a condom? She could have been sure of it if she wasn't drunk off her ass. Her eyes brightened when she looked into the trash can. But to no avail, there wasn't a wrapper, the condom, anything.

Well, she imagined in her dreams someday she would get pregnant with Elliot's child. Of course, the bastard wasn't supposed to be married. It wasn't supposed to be a one night stand.

Beforehand, the asshole was supposed to admit that he loved her. They were supposed to be together. They were supposed to get married. And have a wonderful family with his kids and their new children.

But that obviously did NOT happen.

She finally couldn't stop. Olivia burst into tears. She sobbed and jerked and retched in the toilet. She stared at the stick once more and chucked it at the wall as she cursed loudly.

Work was in less than an hour. How the hell could she face him? How could he face her? She swallowed visibly and wiped her eyes...she was not giving up this baby. Even if Elliot didn't support it with her, there was no way she was aborting, or putting it up for adoption.

Elliot didn't have to find out. And he wouldn't.

Not now. Not ever.

He did this to her. Damn him. Damn that thing down there. Damn all of him. She could do everything by herself. That's exactly what she was going to do.

She shook her head, pushing away any thoughts, and stared at the mirror. She forced a smile and she grunted. No way was she going to be left alone with red puffy eyes. She quickly splashed cold water on her face and coughed.

"I'm not doing this. I'm not going to let him break me anymore." Olivia walked out of the bathroom and into her bedroom and opened her closet. She took out her magenta v-neck and her black slacks. Finishing by pulling on her black boots, she put on her make-up quickly and delicately, looked at her stomach and sighed.

In about four months, it was going to start to get noticeable. And then when Elliot asked, what was she supposed to say? "Yeah sorry El. That whole night...fucking eachother...turns out I'm pregnant!" Then he'll probably pass out and never speak to her again.

So, it would probably be best if she requested off, but only to Cragen. He would understand...well except for the whole sleeping with your partner while he's married thing. That might be a problem.

It was all going downhill from him. Though at one point, she did not imagine this when she had Elliot's baby inside her. Sure, maybe once or twice she imagined an alternate universe. Where she and Elliot would run through a field of daises in pure white. And there would be no evil in the world.

And Munch's coffee actually tasted good. And Kathy never existed. It was just her real family. That's how it was supposed to go down. It just tore in half right before her eyes.

He did this.

Pulling up her bag and fixing her hair, she walked out of her apartment. She looked out into the street, and decided to walk. Along the way, she reminisced on the other things she thought about if Elliot and her were together.

Waking up to his blue eyes staring right back at her, watching her sleep. How he would feel when she kissed him. A flashback interrupted her thoughts.

_"God, you look so beautiful, Liv." Elliot groaned through an alchoholic haze. He pratically tore her panties off and feasted on her sex, hearing her scream._

Her eyes snapped open and the memory made her almost fall to her knees. Was she starting to pick up the pieces of the-mistake they made? God, now that she had that memory, that mental image of a naked Elliot ravaging her, how was she going to stand to look at him?

How could she even work?

Shaking her head, she kept walking another block. "Get it together, Benson." One more block to go, another step closer to having to face your fears.

Before Olivia knew it, she was right in front of the station. She felt like a preschooler on the first day. No, don't make me go in, Mommy. Her feet moved without her permission and she was walking into the squadroom. She didn't even have to look.

She already saw him. Well, the back of his head. She swallowed visibly and saw him with his feet on his desk, reading a DD5. He looked up at her and smirked, and then back down. Her stomach jumped. Oh, dear God. Was she still in love with him? She stepped closer and felt her legs go weak. Was that fear or adoration? What the hell was wrong with her?

She pulled off her jacket, put it on the back of the chair, and sat down. "Good morning." she simply whispered. He looked up with a raised eyebrow and finally spoke. And she knew he remembered. "Not a really good start to it, is it?"

Olivia bit her lip and looked down at her stomach once more. They sat for a few minutes as he just stared at her, waiting for a snarky response. The awkward silence was making her crazy.

Elliot finally looked away and went to his computer. He typed for about 5 seconds, and then looked back at the paper. In two minutes, there was a ding from her computer. It was a new email. From Elliot. She opened it hesitantly and read the message written in bold letters.

**Forget about it. Forget about it all. It never happened. **

Never happened? Never HAPPENED? What the fuck did that mean? Was she just some steam blown off? Some one night stand? He wasn't even going to apologize? He may not know it, but she suffered the consequences more than she did. She wanted to jump up and tell him where to shove it. To tell him that he wasn't the only who regretted it.

Apparently, neither of them were the only one. Because one blonde with frizzled hair and red eyes stomped over to Olivia's desk and slapped her right across the desk. "You BITCH!" Kathy screamed at her. "You-you HOMEWRECKER!" She rubbed her cheek as tears immediately slipped down her face. "You wanna be his whore, huh? Well, you can HAVE him! I-"

Elliot apparently got out of the shock and pulled her back. "Kathy, STOP! Damn it, just stop! Come on, let's go talk." She pulled her arms out of his grasp and slapped him. "No! You get your hands off of me! We're done. Get your things tonight! I thought you were just talking to yourself about nothing, but then I saw the panties in your jeans pocket in the hamper! And I was damn sure they weren't mine!"

She pushed him and walked off in a huff, leaving the whole squad staring at Elliot and Olivia. "Kathy. Good mor-" Cragen's voice sounded as he walked past her. "Ah! It's not Kathy Stabler anymore!" She took her ring, showed it to Elliot and threw it at him.

Don looked at her, and then at the two detectives, and sighed unhappily. "You two. My office. Now."

***gasp* One-night stand baby! *jumps for joy, pauses and looks down in remorse* Yes, I KNOW it's short! And it was really random to just shove that little blonde bitch in there, but I think it was necessary. I just wanted to push her off a cliff-I mean push her out of the story quickly. :) She annoys me. Review please? You glad I continued? **


End file.
